I walked into Home Goods in mid-August to look for what I envisioned as a “cute” pantry storage bin.
But instead of being met with a variety of practical home goods, I was faced with a host of inventory that told me I should be wrapped up in a blanket scarf, holding a peppermint mocha, listening to Christmas carols with a pumpkin spice candle burning in the background.
All after just leaving the heated days of summer still in full swing outside the automatic doors.
After making my way through the store, I was less than successful in my original mission and more than tempted to fill my cart with all things seasonal.
I’ll admit, although it was confusing to have multiple seasons in front of me, it was nice to envision the warmth and joy of the upcoming seasons.
I could stare at aisle after aisle of holiday items and imagine how cozy my house would feel. I could maybe start with a fall wreath on the front door and perhaps even include an early arrival Christmas tree (if I was really feeling in the spirit).
But then the reality of my life set in.
I work full-time. I am raising a toddler who has many appointments and a nap schedule that she uses as a bargaining chip. Though I am never alerted to which day that chip might be in play.
And I manage a dog with no fenced yard who sometimes operates on the same bargaining schedule as the toddler.
Then there’s my house. The house I would so enthusiastically like to deck out so it matches the glorious holiday displays we are bombarded with at the end of each summer.
It’s also the house we haven’t finished unpacking, even though it’s been a year since our move. The house I am lucky to vacuum once a week. The house where I hope to remember to empty out my coffee grounds each day, so I can count on a fresh start the next morning.
I’m Not a Festive Mom
Staring lovingly back at all the Home Goods holiday displays I realized one thing — I am not a festive mom. My house is not going to be perfectly decorated and festive. And the thought of even attempting the idea makes me feel overwhelmed.
And that’s okay. It doesn’t mean I don’t love or enjoy the merriment. It just meant I was going to choose to embody the spirit of the season in other ways.
For now that means, repurposing the pumpkin we never carved. And chasing after Christmas window clings that don’t, in fact, stay on the window.
You might also find me paintbrush-deep in a second attempt at a homemade Christmas present (because it didn’t turn out right the first time). And I’ll probably have a Hallmark movie on in the background.
When I turn out the lights for bed at night, I might not see a perfectly decorated home. But I will see the joy from a giggling toddler running hot laps around the kitchen island, deciding when the clings will go back on the window.
I will see the smile from the recipient of my homemade gift. It will be worth the effort, even though it took me three tries to get it right. And tomorrow I will see my freshly cleaned coffee pot waiting for another round of fresh grounds.
And I can fall asleep knowing I am already living what a Home Goods display tries to sell you.
A happy home.
Maybe Someday
I suppose one day I will become a festive mom and will enjoy the process of decorating and styling to bring the season into my home, but not in this season of life.
For now, I’ll take that nap-negotiating toddler, and use my own bargaining chip to enjoy the merriment of department store displays with her when she goes all in on a sleepless afternoon.
And if you’re looking for seasonal fun in our area, see our Ultimate Guide to Holiday & Christmas Events in Fargo!
