Planning your kid’s birthday party can be stressful. There are so many things to consider from the location, to numbers, cost, and more.
It’s a lot to take on.
So, let’s help those parents out. When your child is invited to a friend’s birthday party, here are some simple ways to be considerate of the parents planning a special day for their child.
Birthday Party Etiquette Tips
1. RSVP on time.
If the invitation indicates a RSVP date, there’s typically a reason. Maybe the location needs final numbers, or has a cap and they want to make sure they have enough friends there.
For example, one year we had a small cap number so I sent invites early. When one kid couldn’t make it, we then had time to invite another one to replace that spot. Other reasons include knowing how much food to order, how many party favor bags to prepare, or just relieving some stress knowing that some friends will be at their party.
2. Don’t ask (or assume) a sibling can just “join in.”
Unless the sibling was invited, they shouldn’t be at the party.
This of course adds more kids at the party, (see above) and also adds a total stranger to the party. It doesn’t matter if it’s a large class party at a big facility, it shouldn’t be done.
And I get it, I have twins and there are plenty of instances where one twin wasn’t invited, even when both are friends with the birthday kid. I don’t even bring that twin in when I drop the party guest off. This avoids any awkwardness for all involved.
Don’t “nicely” ask the host if the sibling can join. It’s not kind to put someone on the spot and make them feel bad for saying no. If they wanted them there, they would have invited them.
3. Don’t show up unless you’ve RSVP’d.
This should go without saying, but showing up without RSVP’ing (if this was required) is extremely rude.
I understand RSVP’ing late. Apologizing for the late notice and asking if it’s still okay if your child comes is fine; invites get lost, life happens. At least this gives the parent a chance to regroup if numbers allow, or say no if they don’t.
However, showing up unannounced when tables are set, gift bags are prepped, and caps are met, can cause chaos and awkwardness.
4. If your child has a mild food allergy (likely found in cake, pizza, etc.), please pack them an alternative snack.
Asking ahead of time what food is served makes perfect sense so you can plan ahead. But it’s not up to the party host to accommodate every food sensitivity, unless it’s a severe allergy — such as a peanut allergy.
These recommendations seem simple and obvious, but for some reason we forget typical birthday party etiquette when it comes to children’s birthday parties.
However, a little courtesy can make things so much easier for the host. And you’ll appreciate these things when you’re the one doing the planning.
All any parent wants is for their child to enjoy a great party. So let’s make it easier on each other by showing some consideration.
