Brace yourself, unpopular opinion ahead.
The holidays can suck.
Or at least for some people, some part of the holiday season sucks. Some years, I’m one of those people. Call me a grinch, or a heathen, or ungrateful, or whatever makes you feel better. It doesn’t change the fact that sometimes for me, the holidays suck.
If you are one of those people, no matter the reason, I want you to know you can say no to the holidays.
You can say no in whole or just to parts. It is up to what works for you and your family. There is no one-size-fits-all way to do the holiday season.
You can say no to the stress and coordinating, preparing, hosting, wrapping, and overspending.
You can say no to travel or awkward gatherings, or to going places you’re not actually wanted or welcome. And you can also say no to invitations to places you are wanted, but you don’t want to be.
You don’t HAVE to visit those relatives who treat you (or your spouse or kids) like crap. You don’t have to take photos, wear matching jammies, drink cocoa, send cards, eat candy canes, or do the elf thing. You can say no to the mess, the noise, and the forced joy.
Or, if you love the holidays, you can do all the stuff you enjoy. And you can do it unapologetically. Or you can do bits and pieces. And in case you need a reminder, the way you celebrate each year can change.
Are religious aspects of the season important to you? Okay, do those things.
Does the joy of gift-giving warm your soul? Then give those gifts!
Do the holidays bring you painful memories? Then skip them, if you want.
Does this time of year bring out the worst in you? Then find a way to spend your time in a way that is healthy for you.
Do you want to break tradition and try something new this year? Mama, do that thing!
There are no actual rules.
If the holidays suck for you or your family, you don’t have to celebrate them at all. Or you can make this year the year you decide to do them differently.
Sure, I do enjoy some of the traditional holiday stuff, and we’re going to do some of it. And my husband and my kids like different things, so we’re going to do some of that, too. We’re going to do the things we WANT to do when we WANT to do them.
We can be together, celebrating whatever we feel like, however and whenever we please.
Goodbye, guilt trip. Hello holidaying however we want.
Or don’t.
