More than Books and Wine: 3 Reasons I Love My Book Club

book club

I hope every person can find the thing that sets their brain on fire and makes their heart happy. That includes you, Momma! 
 
Joining my friend’s book club was one of my best life choices. And I know I am a better person, a better wife and mom, because of my book club.
 
Here are a few ways that being part of a book club has enriched my life.

Reasons I Love My Book Club

1. Community

In a time when people are increasingly divided, community is more important than ever before.

Our book club is composed of women from all professions, educational backgrounds, religious and philosophical beliefs, and life stages. Some are moms, most are not. All of these women and the space we have curated has become my community.

We welcome new people freely. There is no application and no qualifications for membership.

We don’t all agree, and we don’t all like the same books. We aren’t even required to read them each month, yet we can still go.

There are no actual rules, and everyone is welcome to come as they are.

My book club has become my safe place to be myself. I show up in whatever honest version I am that day, and they welcome me, support me, and get me to laugh, even sometimes cry.

They are my people.

Every mom needs time to just be who she is, supported and accepted unconditionally. And I mean as an individual, not as someone’s mom or wife. Because at home I am loved and accepted, but relative to those relationships. Once a month, I get to be just me, my fullest self, and they accept me wholeheartedly.

And I’m so glad I’ve found some truly tremendous women to be my community.

2. Intellectual Stimulation

Sure, kids are interesting. My work is challenging. And I even occasionally have a few quiet minutes to daydream.

But ever since college, and especially after having kids, I found my time to simply think was diminished. As in, pretty much nonexistent.

One of my favorite pastimes is engaging in a good conversation with someone who thinks differently than me. It is even better if we disagree and they have thoughtful reasons or anecdotes to share.

The couple hours of discourse with the women at my book club is some of the most engaging time I have all month.

Books frame up the discussion, but we quickly stray and consider the aspects of life it made us think about. These conversations help me expand my awareness, challenge my preconceived notions, and help me identify my own convictions along the way.

Our book club makes my brain happy.

3. A Life Interlude

I get a break from the daily grind of my life. And yes, time away is essential to being the best wife and mother I can be when I return home. Sure, this is an endorsement for a version of self-care, but not the kind pushed by toxic wellness culture.

My time reading (or listening) to each month’s selection and time at book club provide me with the type of repose I need. These times are not just a momentary break that is only a reprieve from that day’s burdens. Instead, the respite is a repetitive practice of shifting my mind away from my endless to-do lists and my impossible expectations of myself.

When I read, I become immersed in the book. This prompts me to think or imagine things and provides time for my brain to think about something other than all the things I have to do.

Then I go to book club and have an authentic connection with women who have really gotten to know me. I have found these deeper-than-surface-level relationships can happen when people read and discuss books. Because of the format, you inevitably dive into some intimate aspects of life and personal vulnerabilities.

Combined, the time I spend reading and the time with the other women provide an interlude. Joyful periods of time sandwiched between the more business-like aspects of my life.

Sure, there are still books and wine at my book club. But there is also so much more.

To find book clubs through our local libraries, check out the Fargo Public Library, West Fargo Public Library, and Moorhead Library

And to get yourself reading or for ideas on books to gift, check out this post on Books that Make Great Gifts for Moms.
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Caitlin Stoecker
After meeting here during college, Caitlin and her husband, Tanner, settled in North Fargo and live a pretty upper-midwestern life full of trying to appreciate the small adventures. As a mom to a son born in 2017 and a daughter born in 2021, Caitlin tries to balance all of the mommy things with taking time for what makes her a human outside of being a wife and mother. Along with spending her days working as a program manager, she enjoys finding unique family experiences in the Fargo-Moorhead area, volunteering, reading, and simply being honest about the realities of motherhood in all its vehement glory.

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