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My husband, Justin, loves football. LOVES it. His love for the game runs deeper than sporting the newest jersey or attending a watch party. Actually, his favorite way to watch a football game is at home, away from crowds and distractions.
You won’t find him in a Fantasy Football league or part of a Sunday crew to watch the game. He wants to hear the announcer, catch every comment, and not miss a beat. When he’s had to miss a game, he won’t check his phone in fear of spoiling the score. The he’ll watch the entire game later, on his own. He’s even been known to watch great games over again, even if he caught them live.
So it comes as no surprise when, on the morning of his brain surgery to remove a massive tumor, his questions were not about the surgical risks. He kindly asked the surgical team if they could “wrap things up by kick off” so he wouldn’t miss a moment of the game.
And no, this wasn’t an NFL or even collegiate game, it was Moorhead High School. This was HIS team – he had been coaching at MHS for the last decade with a group of coaches that were like family to him.
A Diagnosis
It was during the previous season that Justin first noticed some hearing loss. The headsets are one-sided, and he thought his was broken. When he flipped it and realized it wasn’t the headset, he was surprised to learn that his hearing was impaired. That discovery lead to an MRI that revealed a large benign brain tumor called an acoustic neuroma. It was causing his right-sided hearing loss.
The surgery to remove the tumor ended up being over 15 hours, so he sadly missed the entire game that day. And although he won’t admit it, I’m willing to bet he texted one of the coaches to find out the score before texting me that he was out of surgery.
After surgery, there were countless complications from pulmonary embolisms, cerebrospinal fluid leaks, and bacterial meningitis. He spent 37 days in the hospital, 30 of which were in the Intensive Care Unit.
It became well known among hospital staff to try to limit his interruptions during football games. They even put in his medical chart that watching his teams would trigger tachycardia and to not “sound the alarm.” Eventually, they just took the heart rate monitor off during game days.
Football Turns into Family
Justin hadn’t gone a single fall season without playing or coaching football in over 30 years. So, having to miss these moments during his stay in the hospital was heart-wrenching for him. There were few things that helped him emotionally over those 5 weeks in the hospital, but his fellow coaches stepped up to be there for him.
They continued to include him in pre-game speeches and post-game analysis, even at a distance. As the team advanced through playoffs, one of the coaches put him on video chat in the locker room so he could really feel part of the pre-game energy. Another coach had him on FaceTime during their walk out to the field, facing the camera forward so he could feel the excitement of being there.
These small gestures meant the world to him. Each was a small, but impactful, reprieve where he was able to feel like himself again and connect him to the game he loves.
The outpouring of support from his football teammates was endless. From organizing snow removal for us, to generous GoFundMe and “Team Behm” t-shirt fundraisers, our football community really showed up. One of the Moorhead football coaches he’d known the longest even offered his lake home to us for a weekend. This getaway meant a lot to me, and I still think of how healing that quiet time was for us.
The season ended early due to the pandemic, but Moorhead High School finished 7-0 and received unanimous first place votes, solidifying them as the Minnesota State Champions. My husband was also unanimously voted North Central District Assistant Coach of the Year.
If you bring it up, he’ll tell you it was a “pity vote.” But I disagree. I don’t know anyone more dedicated to the sport of football, his team, and the coaching staff than Justin Behm. And now, we know no community is more dedicated to him than his football family.
Thank you to Future for Football and the National Football Foundation for helping make the sport more accessible to all. Use the Future For Football league locator to find a football league in your area and sign up today!
