Note: This is one mom’s experience in developing healthy eating habits for herself and her children, and is not medical advice. Please do what’s best for your family when it comes to meals, and consult your doctor with any concerns.
Disclaimer: This article involves the topic of eating disorders. If you or your child are experiencing symptoms of an eating disorder, please contact your doctor for support.
When I was in my early 20s, I had some eating issues.
By 24 years of age, it was primarily a binge-eating disorder. I’d starve all day because of the shame of what I ate the day before. I would swear it was the last time I’d ever do that, but by 7:00 p.m. I’d be in another binge.
It was a vicious cycle. I gained a lot of weight and felt terrible shame.
Three Meals & Two Snacks per Day
I was going to a counselor for treatment when I got pregnant.
The therapist said to me, “This will probably work itself out.” My reply was, “Are you kidding me?! I’ve been in treatment for four years! How is a pregnancy going to fix it?”
She said, “Well, you’re going to have to eat every two to three hours to get past the nausea, and I’ll bet you will finally see your thoughts about food change.”
I’ve spent a lot of time around eating disorders and weight management clinics for my family and self. No matter who the patient was in those waiting rooms, part of the “prescription” was the same — encouraging three meals and two snacks per day.
Why would they recommend the same thing for everyone? Because to normalize eating and to stop intrusive thoughts about food, the solution is to encourage regular, balanced meals and two snacks per day.
That’s the prescription they’ve found works best for healthy weight management.
As predicted, I was quite nauseated during early pregnancy. And I didn’t want to hurt my baby, so I listened when my OBGYN also told me to eat three meals and two snacks per day (at a minimum).
As I was eating more frequently and eating to fuel my body and nourish my baby, the negative thoughts about food started to pass. And after all my pregnancies, I still kept with it. And the bad thoughts about food didn’t return. My weight found a healthy point, where it’s been for 14 years.
I make a conscious effort to eat by the clock, and to eat what a person my size should be eating, not what diet culture or capitalism tells me I should eat (or not eat).
And now I pass this same advice on to my own children.
Helping Our Kids
We as adults have difficulty navigating our food system and maintaining our weight. What makes us think young children wouldn’t also be susceptible to advertising, cultural influences, peer pressure, and the general food system?
Kids need to make choices. Kids also need a sturdy leader that can give them directions on navigating childhood and healthy eating habits.
So I started to encourage my own kids to focus on eating three balanced meals and two snacks per day, whenever possible.
Fill Your Plate
Another tip I learned through this journey is that we “eat with our eyes.” Meaning, we eat because something looks good on our plate.
So, fill up your plate and set your food in front of you at a table. Eat what looks like a reasonably sized portion for a meal, not what you’re hungry for. And not what diet culture tells you is a reasonable meal.
At the clinics I attended, we were told to dish up our kids’ plates to show what a proper meal size looks like for a person of their size. (The providers placed fake food on a plate so we could see what the kids’ plates should look like, and let me tell you, it’s a lot of food.)
It’s not a snack bar and a glass of orange juice because, “That’s what my kid is hungry for every day of the week, and so I let him make his own choices.” We all know that’s not a meal.
Does it happen sometimes because we’ve lost the will to fight or the day is busy? Absolutely. But encouraging kids to regularly eat a full, balanced meal can encourage better eating habits over the long term.
Healthy Eating Habits: Trying to Find Balance
Like every generation, we don’t want to raise our own kids like generations before us did. In our society today, the food system is not created around, “Eat when you’re hungry, stop when you’re full.”
That might have been sound advice before all the advertising and processed foods. But our bodies don’t work like that with today’s food system. Eating outside of being hungry is completely normal is today’s society, and it doesn’t mean you’re destined to be overweight.
Sometimes you see a cookie and you want it, even if you’re not hungry. And you still eat the cookie. Because that’s the world we live in; we’re bound to see cookies. Most food, even treats, can be part of a balanced diet.
The key is balance, good portion size, and three meals a days. Encourage your kids to eat on a regular basis and make healthy choices, and their relationship with food will continue to be a positive one.
