Feeling ‘Touched Out’ in Motherhood

touched out
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Do you ever have times where you just feel “touched out?”

The other day my husband came home from work and I was sitting on our bed after changing our six-week-old baby’s diaper, while our three-year-old twins rambunctiously jumped behind me. Wanting to give their baby sister, “Just one more kiss.” They jumped across the bed to gather around me, hanging off my shoulders, trying to get close to give her a kiss.

Immediately I stood up, handed the baby to my husband and walked out. I had been home with all three of my littles for eight hours. And I was completely “touched out” — both physically and mentally. When I was halfway around the block, I realized that I had left the house without even telling my husband where I was going.

This was one of the first moments as a new mom of three, where I realized I felt overwhelmed, overstimulated, and completely touched out.

After experiencing five years of infertility, it is not lost on me how grateful I am for the chance to be a mother. And I love my babies with my whole heart. I hold on to every moment, snuggle, and kiss.

However, there are times where I just need to not be wanted, touched, or constantly asked for, “Just one more snack!”

Sometime I need my space, my time, and my freedom back, even for a moment.

So, if you are in the throes of motherhood. If you are surrounded by the clutter of toys, endless piles of laundry, and dirty bottles in the sink. If you’re feeling tapped out, “touched out,” and overwhelmed, know that I see you. 

I see your frustration over your situation and also the overwhelming joy you can feel as a parent. I see the dark circles under your eyes, tired from the night before. And can feel the exhaustion of the day carried on your shoulders.

And I can tell you that it’s okay to wish some moments away.

It’s normal to have days where you can’t wait for the children to go to bed, so you can finally catch your breath.

Some days you will never feel the need for a break. Other days you will be walking out the door as soon as your spouse gets home. Neither circumstance determines your worth as a mother, as good or bad, successful or unsuccessful. It just means your days will be filled with the easy and also the hard.

So, here’s to you mama, with overflowing hands and a grateful heart. It’s OK to feel “touched out” and need a break for you. 

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Ashlee Cournia
Ashlee is a wife, mother, teacher, and infertility awareness advocate. Born and raised on a farm in south central North Dakota, Ashlee grew up learning about the true meaning of hard work, love of family, and the importance of faith. After graduating from high school, she moved to Moorhead where she would meet the love of her life and future husband, Jay. She attended MSUM where she earned her degree in English Education and began teaching in 2014. In 2018, Ashlee earned her Masters in Education from The University of Mary in Bismarck, ND. After struggling through infertility for five years, Ashlee and Jay welcomed miracle twins, Hannah and Leo, to their family in 2019. They currently reside in Horace, ND, building their dream home in 2021. Ashlee’s love of reading and writing is manifested in her work as a full-time language arts teacher at Kindred High School in Kindred, ND and as a part time online adjunct professor at the University of Mary. She also works part time as a receptionist at Scheels. Ashlee credits her ability to juggle the demands of full-time work with her part time jobs to her parents, who have always showed her the value of hard work. Ashlee is blessed to have a hands-on husband and in-laws always willing to lend a helping hand. Ashlee has a passion for sharing her infertility journey in the hopes of helping others who are experiencing it themselves. She shares about infertility and motherhood on her Instagram page. Ashlee’s personal hobbies include baking, decorating, and shopping. She and her family enjoy summer road trips, weekends at the lake, and traveling to her parent’s farm. Ashlee wishes to share with her readers the joys and challenges of life as a working mother and her experience battling infertility in the hopes of inspiring them in their own lives.


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