Do you ever have times where you just feel “touched out?”
The other day my husband came home from work and I was sitting on our bed after changing our six-week-old baby’s diaper, while our three-year-old twins rambunctiously jumped behind me. Wanting to give their baby sister, “Just one more kiss.” They jumped across the bed to gather around me, hanging off my shoulders, trying to get close to give her a kiss.
Immediately I stood up, handed the baby to my husband and walked out. I had been home with all three of my littles for eight hours. And I was completely “touched out” — both physically and mentally. When I was halfway around the block, I realized that I had left the house without even telling my husband where I was going.
This was one of the first moments as a new mom of three, where I realized I felt overwhelmed, overstimulated, and completely touched out.
After experiencing five years of infertility, it is not lost on me how grateful I am for the chance to be a mother. And I love my babies with my whole heart. I hold on to every moment, snuggle, and kiss.
However, there are times where I just need to not be wanted, touched, or constantly asked for, “Just one more snack!”
Sometime I need my space, my time, and my freedom back, even for a moment.
So, if you are in the throes of motherhood. If you are surrounded by the clutter of toys, endless piles of laundry, and dirty bottles in the sink. If you’re feeling tapped out, “touched out,” and overwhelmed, know that I see you.
I see your frustration over your situation and also the overwhelming joy you can feel as a parent. I see the dark circles under your eyes, tired from the night before. And can feel the exhaustion of the day carried on your shoulders.
And I can tell you that it’s okay to wish some moments away.
It’s normal to have days where you can’t wait for the children to go to bed, so you can finally catch your breath.
Some days you will never feel the need for a break. Other days you will be walking out the door as soon as your spouse gets home. Neither circumstance determines your worth as a mother, as good or bad, successful or unsuccessful. It just means your days will be filled with the easy and also the hard.
So, here’s to you mama, with overflowing hands and a grateful heart. It’s OK to feel “touched out” and need a break for you.