Don’t Be “That” Parent: 6 Tips to Keep Youth Sports Fun for Kids

March 27, 2023

Sports are important, but they’re not everything.

I played about eight different youth sports growing up, four in high school and Division 1 in college, so believe me when I say this — less is more.

My parents didn’t have any “favorite sports” that I was pressured to play. This meant I got to choose the sports I was interested in, and never had a parent try to coach me from the sidelines.

When I lost interest and was ready to “retire” (which is nicer than calling your kid a quitter), I didn’t feel bad about myself for making that choice. And with no pressure to continue in the sports I didn’t love, I was able to spend my time on the sports I enjoyed playing! As parents, we sometimes forget that’s the point, right?

Kids in Sports

Now that my two six-year-olds are at the start of their youth sports career, and my 17-year-old is beyond that phase and playing varsity sports, I thought I’d take this opportunity to ask him what he wishes I had done differently when he was younger (gulp).

Nothing like a little humble pie to improve your parenting.

What We Did

I always tried to keep it simple with him. After games, I would let him know first and foremost that I enjoyed watching him play. Then, if we had time together, I would ask him to reflect on his personal and team highlights, then personal and team areas of improvement. This was a time for him to practice reflection and self-evaluation, which are solid life skills.

His sports were football, baseball, and hockey, so I never had much to add from a technical standpoint, but I knew my husband would cover that area.

The one thing I emphasized was to always (*always*) make eye contact and say “thanks” when coaches, teammates, parents, etc. told him he had a good game. Even if it was literally the worst game of his life, because manners are also an important life skill.

And early in his sports experience, on a couple occasions when he was being particularly cocky, I showed him the probability stats of competing in college. I wasn’t trying to be a dream killer, but sometimes you have to balance out the grandparent goggles (that will tell your kid they’re the next Serena Williams).

When he thought about it, he said he didn’t mind the ego check, or the reflection questions. He didn’t even mind my husband giving him technical pointers.

However, our 17-year-old did share a few things he wished we had done differently and mistakes he’s seen other parents make.

6 Things Parents Can Do to Make Youth Sports More Enjoyable

1. Stop yelling at the refs.

There’s a shortage and not every referee is going to be a professional. They’re oftentimes other kids just doing their best. When parents yell at the refs, the refs get worse which makes it less enjoyable for the players.

2. Realize your kid is not “league bound” at nine years old.

When you act like they’re the next Michael Jordan, you suck the fun out of the game.

3. When the team or your kid has a rough game, give them space.

No one wants to “talk to the press” after a loss. Let them sit with it a minute before you come in with your own assessment.

4. Unless you played that sport, try to keep the advice general.

For example, how to shake off and recover from a mistake.

5. No one’s going to give 100% all the time, not in sports and not in life.

Perfection can’t be the expectation, even with effort.

6. Check in with your kid.

With so many opportunities to improve in the off-season, find out if they prefer to keep each sport in its own season. Then you’re not wasting money on extra camps that they have no interest in.

Key Takeaways

The underlying theme seems to be to back off and let your child take the lead. After all, sports are supposed to build leadership qualities.

I know it feels like we have all the answers, but our experiences are only ours. Allowing your child to have their own sports journey (while providing guidance and support along the way) will help them find their own path.

In other words, the less you involve yourself, the more fun they’ll have, and yes, that really is the point!