Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken.
These words have echoed in my mind for over three decades. Their impact has followed me on my journey from a soccer-obsessed preteen to a semi-homemade, working mama of three.
Embracing Individuality
In junior high and high school, this mantra was somewhat difficult to live by. I wanted to fit in, but I was also stubbornly set in my values and beliefs.
I was in this awkward state — a pull between wanting to be liked and accepted by the popular kids and wanting to be unapologetically myself. This caused stress and anxiety, and a result, I put an immense amount of pressure on myself.
In college, it was easier. People were genuinely accepting of my uniqueness and this acceptance helped me to embrace my true self and my aspirations for the future. I made lifelong friends, I felt comfortable in my own skin, I knew who I was.
I was honest, I said what was on my mind, and I didn’t apologize. It was incredibly empowering, but somewhat elusive.
Making My Own Way as a Mom
When I gave birth to my daughter, and then my sons, the uneasy feelings returned.
It seemed the world around me had an expectation of who I should be as a mom. How I should feed my children, how I should care for them, what toys they should play with… the list goes on.
Again, I had my own vision and set of values for my new role, but for some reason, I felt pressure to conform to society’s expectation of motherhood. Everyone seemed to have a strong opinion about one thing or another and to be honest, it was overwhelming.
The feelings of anxiety, stress, and pressure returned.
Be yourself.
I think of the impact of these words and how they have shaped me over the course of my life thus far.
Letting Go of Expectations
The “expectation struggle” lessens with each passing day.
Once again, I am finding myself. I am feeling more secure in who I am, my role as a mother, my dreams, goals, and values.
I am incredibly grateful for mentors that have instilled a sense of self and greater purpose in me. And I am continually thankful for the friendships that allow me to grow and push me to stay true to my ever present mantra, still echoing….
Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken.
