My grandpa, Eugene, passed away recently.
While it wasn’t a complete surprise after watching his health decline over the last few years, it was still incredibly difficult.
My grandpa was a special guy. He worked hard, loved his family more than words, and followed his faith in Jesus through the ups and downs of his life.
He was silly and didn’t let much ruffle his feathers.
My grandpa lived a beautiful life alongside his life partner, my grandma, and I’m 100% certain he was welcomed with open arms into heaven.
Handling Grief
As we navigated the loss and all the emotions that followed, I found myself in awe of my grandma Theresa.
During one of the most difficult times of her life, she provided perspective for me as a wife and mom. Let me explain.
It was 5:45 a.m. and my phone was buzzing. Awake already, I looked over to see my mom’s contact lighting up on my cell phone. My heart sank, knowing before I even answered the phone that the time had come — my grandpa had passed.
I felt a mix of emotions, complete sadness knowing he was gone, but also relief knowing he was no longer in pain.
After chatting with my mom about my grandma and how she was doing, I decided to join my mom and her siblings to spend the day with my grandma. Selfishly, I needed to give her a big hug. Truthfully, I couldn’t imagine doing anything other than being with my family.
Facing the Day
Our first stop was the funeral home. And to be honest, I wasn’t sure what to expect. I wondered: How was my grandma actually doing? What had been planned? What would we be discussing? Is it strange that I’m here?
As my grandma got out of the vehicle, we shared an embrace as she said something to the extent of, “Wow, you’re all here!”
“Of course,” I said out loud knowing one, this is just how our big family operates and two, there is no way she’d be having this conversation without a full table of support behind her.
As we filed into the room, I landed at a spot at the table directly across from my grandma. I watched her make decisions for her husband of 65 years.
She did so with such clarity, faith, strength, and might I even add, joy.
While there was sadness, tiredness, and tears throughout the room, there was so much laughter as we shared our favorite memories of my grandpa.
I sat there, feeling so grateful that I got to learn more about my grandpa’s life from those who loved him most.
Leading by Example
My grandma’s steady presence led us all through the next few days leading to the wake and funeral. And there wasn’t much talk of the emotions, but I felt them.
Faith that he was dancing with Jesus.
Relief that he was no longer in pain.
Joy and celebration for the incredible husband, father, and grandpa he was.
Connection as our large family gathered together.
And of course grief, because everything just felt a little off without his physical presence.
I found myself watching my grandma quite a bit over those few days. Checking on her emotional state but also wondering how I could handle myself with the same grace when that day comes.
As the days went by, I continued to reflect on my grandma’s example and how her many years of life experience could help me during the day-to-day as a busy wife and mom of two young children.
Faith
I’m really proud of my faith and the trust I’ve continued to build in God and his plan for my life.
But, I’m human and it’s not constant. When little things go wrong or there’s an area in life I cannot understand, I let the doubt seep in and the trust lessens.
My grandma lost her life partner of over 65 years and her faith was, from my perspective, out of this world.
It didn’t mean she wasn’t sad, but she knew with one hundred percent certainty my Grandpa was in a better place. She trusted wholeheartedly in the plan.
When I’m struggling to understand the moves God is making in my world, I can aspire to walk faithfully just like my grandma.
The Little Things
My grandma was and is the ultimate caretaker. Truly, her entire life she’s taken care of her husband, 10 kids and over 20 grandkids and great grandkids. During the end of my grandpa’s life, she took incredible care of my Grandpa, pushing her mind and body to the limit.
She never complained. I never saw any resentment. She did everything in love.
I thought about this a lot. I also thought about how testy I can get with my own husband over the silliest, smallest things. Leaving too much clutter on the counter, being far too noisy with the kids inside, feeling like sometimes I’m carrying a heavier load, the list could go on.
How often do I complain? How often do I let the little things cloud my mind? Am I not recognizing how truly lucky I am to have a partner to walk through life with? And many more blessings. I can always, always, always work on showing appreciation and love, while not letting the small stuff get to me.
Time
I think this is a common thought when people pass — always wishing you had more time with them. And while I can’t say this wasn’t a wish of my grandma’s, I never got that impression.
Instead, the focus was on the time we did have with my grandpa. Countless memories and stories that will continue to live on.
How often am I taking for granted the precious gift of time? Why is it so hard to put the phone down or not let the running list of to-dos sit idle while I spend quality time with those I love?
I don’t want to look back and wish I had more time, but that means living intentionally now.
As I get older the more I realize these moments in life — the good ones and the really bad ones — they’re all just lessons.
Thank you Grandma for all you do and who you are.
Thank you for the wisdom and inspiration you’ve given me. I love you!
