When you look up the definition of being in the “sandwich generation,” it’s defined as a middle-aged adult who is simultaneously raising children and supporting aging parents.
I am in the thick of managing my children’s needs and what they face day to day, and I’m also dealing with my aging parents as they go through health concerns and major life decisions.
Navigating the “Sandwich Generation”
Being in this group, you can feel overwhelmed, stretched too thin, and even guilty. Guilty that you aren’t doing enough for your kids, that you should be doing more for your parents, and that you aren’t taking care of yourself.
While experiencing this time in your life, there are strategies to help you feel more balanced and at peace. Here are a few ideas:
Be Realistic About Your Responsibilities
Take time to identify which responsibilities truly belong to you. Focus your energy there.
Often there will be tasks that can be shared or delegated. For example, need to get a child to sports practice but also attend a medical appointment with a parent? Maybe your child can ride with a friend that day.
Just as important, set boundaries for your own well-being. Try not to overload your schedule — we all know how disastrous that can be.
Build a Support System
Work with your siblings on each taking different roles with your parents. One may be better with the finances, while someone else might be better at just checking in on parents regularly.
Also, make sure you share your feelings and expectations with your spouse, so you have someone to lean on.
You can also have your kids help you with everyday tasks to make the days go more smoothly.
Work with Professionals
Don’t be afraid to seek outside help.
- Care managers can assist with scheduling appointments or navigating medical questions for your parents.
- Financial planners can help with both short and long-term goals related to caregiving and your children’s futures.
- Therapists can also provide tremendous support as you work through the emotional weight that often comes with this stage of life.
Communicate
It’s important that you discuss your parents’ wishes with them before a crisis. Make sure they have an updated will, power of attorney, and healthcare directives to avoid questions, concerns, or even resentment.
Also, have conversations with your spouse and children (as age-appropriate) about feelings, concerns, or stresses to create better understanding and openness.
Don’t Forget About Yourself
Make sure you can find those quiet moments for yourself. Maybe enjoy a walk, have a coffee with a friend, go to therapy and have the confidence to say no. Taking care of yourself is essential to be able to help all those other important people in your life.
Being part of the sandwich generation may mean you are balancing many worlds together, and taking these steps can help ease some of that burden.
Beyond logistics and planning, I try to focus on the moments that matter most — the hugs, the, “I love you’s,” laughter, and meaningful conversations while my parents are still here and my children are growing.
There is something deeply special about being “sandwiched” between the people you love most.
Way to go Stephanie. Your Aunt Sue is smiling from hraven.