On March 5th, Ash Wednesday, I was sitting next to my husband, one of my best friends, and her husband in our church over the lunch hour.
I can’t remember what song was playing, but it was powerful as I struggled to keep the tears from running down my face.
After a few months of confusion and frustration, I finally felt the nudge from God that I’d been looking for.
While I still had numerous questions to be answered, I had this relieving feeling of peace that rushed over me.
Let me explain.
Finding Strength in Faith
The beginning of 2025 came with quite a few punches. Our daughter had one sickness after another and then needed unexpected dental surgery. Then after multiple trips to the doctor for my son, we had a scary experience rushing him to the emergency room.
Looking back, everything worked out and our kids are healthy. But at the time it seemed like everything at home continued to pile on, and I was burned out.
In addition to the stress at home, things at work, for lack of better words, didn’t feel right.
I worked for a mission I cared for deeply, loved the people I worked with, and for the most part felt confident and enjoyed the work I did daily. I also had an incredible work-life balance — the expectation in our company was that family always came first.
Yet, I wasn’t entirely happy. I was struggling each day more than I wanted to admit. However, I didn’t fully trust my own feelings. I convinced myself that it had to be a phase, that everything would turn around for the better. That I’d be silly to look for something else when looking at all the positives on paper.
I did my best to lead with positivity, but those feelings didn’t go away.
I leaned on a few key people in my life and tried my best to stay connected to my faith, praying instead of worrying and listening to worship music as much as possible.
While I’ve experienced God moving in other areas of my life before, I wasn’t sure how to process this discomfort.
Especially as I came to terms with the fact that ‘what next’ was becoming not just a choice, but the only option.
The Call
I was working out over the lunch hour when a dear friend gave me a call. I texted her that I would call her back. She responded quickly, ‘I think I have the perfect job opportunity for you.’
It was March 24th, just 20 days from the emotional Ash Wednesday service where I finally felt God’s voice.
I was cautiously optimistic. In the last few months, I had looked at different job opportunities, but nothing gave me the ‘let’s go’ feeling.
After a few more conversations, things started to make sense. I was relieved, and excited about the new opportunity.
Uncharacteristically, I didn’t have an enormous list of questions even though the job was very broadly defined. What was so clear, and comforting, were the personal characteristics needed to not only do the job, but fit in with the team.
In addition to the excitement, there was a little sadness too. While God had made it clear that this was my next step, I was leaving a chapter that stretched and shaped me in the best way possible — in personal and professional growth. Sadness in leaving the wonderful people I had met and built relationships with while on the job.
Another Curveball
April 8th, I received another phone call. This one from my mom in the early morning hours. My heart sank, I knew before I answered the phone that my Grandpa Eugene had gone home to Jesus.
All of my well-thought-out plans regarding the new job flew out the window. I dropped everything to spend time with my family and prepare for the funeral. And those days I’ll always hold dear as we mourned, celebrated, and spent time together.
As I prepared what to say at the funeral, I remembered my grandpa’s faith throughout the ups and downs of his life. And witnessed my Grandma’s faith and trust in the plan as she gracefully navigated the loss of her life partner.
Through this experience, I was convinced that God was not only moving diligently in my world, but showing that I needed to surrender to the fact that I have little control in the grand scheme of my life. That this new opportunity wasn’t something I could do, but something I needed to do.
On April 10th, I confidently accepted the job and spent the next three days celebrating my grandpa’s life. It’s hard to describe the peace and comfort I felt.
In what should have been a challenging time, I felt incredibly grounded and in-the-moment. And that feeling continued the next few weeks as I gave my notice at work and navigated my exit.
Changing Me by Anna Golden was a song I played during this time resonating with the words, ‘How can I not be changed, when your spirit’s in this place?’
Strength in Faith for the Present and Future
It’s been over a year into my new gig. And like my last job, it has stretched and shaped me, but in different ways. I’ve had to rely on my God-given gifts and characteristics. And in instances, pushed myself into further developing them. It hasn’t been perfect, but it’s felt right.
That feeling has been powerful, knowing God beautifully orchestrated the last few months of my journey and helps me find strength in my faith for the future.
