Talking to our young kids about people with different abilities can be overwhelming and intimidating. But it’s an essential conversation to have in the hopes of creating a world filled with more kindness and understanding.
When I say people with different abilities I am referring to the people who use tablets to communicate, or wheelchairs and walkers for mobility, or communicate without words.
Abilities Rather Than Disabilities
I personally am not a fan of the word “disability.” Words matter and I feel like it makes the person sound like they are lacking something, and that is far from the truth.
Our lives are filled with people of all abilities.
And when questions arise, I never tell my kid that it’s rude to ask; to me this implies he is doing something wrong. He is truly asking the questions from a place of curiosity. And I always answer his questions.
Abilities: Questions & Answers
“Why is that person talking with a tablet?” is a valid question.
The simple answer is,“That’s how that person shares their thoughts and feelings.” The tablet allows a person to be heard. If he needs more clarity, I explain, “That person uses their tablet the way you use your voice.”
The other piece of my answer is focused on the person’s ability.
“Why are they in this chair?” He’s not asking to be rude, but simply to learn.
I focus on what that wheelchair provides for the person. “That’s how they move around and see the world. You use your feet, and they use their chair.” The answer is not about if the person can walk or not, it’s about what the chair provides.
Answering questions like this has given my child the confidence to push his friends who use wheelchairs. He now has enough determination that he pushes around wheelchairs, regardless of his inability to see over the top of the chair.
One of my favorite memories was my child pushing his friend in a wheelchair down the sidewalk and his little voice yelling “Mom we’re going on an adventure! Are you coming?”
He doesn’t see it as a difference between two people, but instead as an opportunity to connect.
People vocalize loudly to let others know they are feeling big emotions, both positive and negative. Some see it as yelling, to me it’s a form of expression. This leads to my toddler asking, “Why that person is screaming?” I never say that is the only way that person communicates. Instead, I focus on the person is trying to tell us something and they want to be sure we know it. My kid is able to realize he also yells when feeling big emotions —another moment of connection.
Educate Your Child & Yourself
My hope for parents is that you ask questions if you are unsure how to have these conversations. Come from a place of curiosity, with an open mind that is ready to learn. Our kids learn from our actions. And we can ensure the next generation won’t just stare or walk away — that they will include, love, and learn.
My ultimate hope is my kid is the kind kid, no matter where life takes him. I hope he is a friend to people of all abilities.
When we look at people through an ability-lens we learn two things, first we see what that person can do and secondly that we are more alike than we are different.
See this post, 11 Books to Help Kids Understand Difference & Inclusion, for more helpful ideas!
