Co-Sleeping to Independent Sleep: How We Made the Transition


When my twins were born, to say my husband and I were sleep deprived is an understatement.

We tried everything, adjusting sleep schedules, sleep sacks, adjusting room temperature, changing feeds — you name it.

Our son was a great sleeper and much preferred to be in his own crib. But we just weren’t able to find a sleeping routine that would work for our daughter, other than having her sleep in our bed.

And thus, we started the journey of co-sleeping.

And this was something I thought we’d never be able to give up. However, by the time our daughter was 2.5, we had another baby on the way. And I knew it was time to end our co-sleeping experience and transition her to sleep in her own room.

At first, I was really nervous for this change and honestly, thought it would be really challenging. But with a few adjustments, the transition ended up being quite easy.

Here are some things we did to help our daughter adapt.

From Co-Sleeping to Independent Sleep

Discuss the situation beforehand.

One thing that really helped was talking about the transition with her, making sure she understood what was happening.

Since we were conversing with a two-year-old, we kept it quite simple. Stating,“In a couple weeks, you will be sleeping in a big girl bed.” And, “Pretty soon you will have your very own bedroom and will be able to sleep all by yourself.”

She caught on to the concept really quickly and would often bring it up to us at random times throughout the day. Clearly, she was thinking about it and processing in her own way.

We made it a point to often assure her that we would be right down the hall. And would be checking in on her throughout the night.

Get your child involved in the process.

Another way to make the transition easier was to let her pick out her own bedding. We went to the store and looked at different patterns of bedding, and she was able to pick out her favorite one. We made a big deal out of this and talked about it at great length. And told her that she would have a day to go pick out her own bedding in her favorite color. She looked forward to this and brought it up in conversation many times before we actually made the trip.

We were able to show her what her new bed would look like by taking her shopping for a twin bed. Although she didn’t have any say in what bed we picked out, she did get to lay on them in the store and get a feel for what a new bed would look like.

We also allowed her a chance to help take down her crib and set up her new bed. This was a really exciting part of the process for her. She loved being involved in every step, and it really made her first night of independent sleep in her new bed a breeze.

We found that after talking about it for a few weeks and then following through with these steps, we were able to transition from co-sleeping to independent sleep quite easily. She never once asked to be back in our bed and now tells us, “I will call you when I need you, mommy and daddy.”

While I wouldn’t give up a single night of co-sleeping, I am grateful for that our co-sleeping journey ended on a positive note.

And for more on kids and sleep, read Encouraging Kids to Fall Asleep on Their Own:The Timer Method.
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Ashlee Cournia
Ashlee lives in Horace with her husband, Jay, and their four kids—twins Hannah and Leo, plus Olivia and Kyle. Raised on a farm in south central North Dakota, she grew up with plenty of chores, lots of fresh air, and a deep appreciation for hard work, family, and faith. She’s been teaching English since 2014, most recently at Kindred High School, later added adjunct professor at the University of Mary to her resume, and somehow still squeezes in part-time work at Scheels (coffee required). When she’s not lesson planning or grading papers, Ashlee loves baking up something sweet, decorating her home, or packing everyone into the car for their next family adventure. Summers off with her kids are her absolute favorite, and she’ll never say no to a shopping trip or an excuse to enjoy just one more cup of coffee.

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