I have hosted many home birthday parties.
We have four kids and started doing friend birthday parties at age three. These usually continued until around age 10 or 11, when it either ended or morphed into preteen sleepovers or going out to dinner with friends.
I remember one party when my daughter was eight or nine. We had invited 10 girls over for a two-hour party. They dumped out every single toy in our entire house. Barbie shoes were mixed with Lincoln Logs. It was chaos.
Another party, despite being the beginning of May, was 100 degrees outside. We had ten 10-year-old boys come over. I had to add water games into the mix just to keep them from overheating!
Those were memorable birthday parties, and here’s why I think home parties are the way to go.
Why have a birthday party at home?
1. Home parties allow you to connect with your kids’ friends.
My high school daughter is still annoyed when I ask, “What about Faith?” And she will say, “Mom, I haven’t seen her since the year she came to my second grade birthday party.” But for me, I really connected with that particular friend. When you spend some quality time with kids, you connect with them.
This is also the reason why you should allow your children to go to home parties. It takes a village to raise a child. But if you don’t allow the village to get to know your child, they won’t have a village. All families are different, and it can be good for your kids to experience different families and households.
2. They allow your kids to connect with their friends & their friends’ families.
With a home party, now their friends have met their siblings, seen their bedroom, and pet their cat. Their friends’ families have met you, seen where you live, and chatted with your kid. Again, it’s a chance to build that village.
My kids and their friends have requested home graduation parties for the same reason. Kids aren’t embarrassed that their kitchen cabinets are out of style or that the closets aren’t organized. They want their friends to be in their home.
3. Home parties are affordable.
We always offered our kids a party or a present. And by party, we meant AT HOME. They always picked party until they were older. (They can do basic math and figure out that they’ll get gifts from their friends if they have a party, plus get to have the party.)
You can usually do a home birthday for under $50. This also levels the playing field for parents who can’t afford to have a party outside of their home. If you have a budget-friendly home party, it can encourage others to have a home party, too.
Tips for a successful birthday party at home
Don’t clean much.
They’re gonna mess it up. At least 30% of the kids will spill. Don’t even both to scrub your floors until AFTER the party.
Don’t buy expensive food or cake.
Many will take one bite and leave it on their plate. Order pizza, or make frozen pizzas. Make a cake from a box mix, and buy a gallon of ice cream. They can drink water or lemonade.
Make the rule to keep the food and drinks in the kitchen, and make sure everyone knows the rule. Write their names on their drinks so they can come back to them.
Decorate with some streamers and balloons.
Make the house feel different and special. Let the kid do the decorating. I did the same, special (but boring) thing every party; I hung streamers from the doorways. The kids ran through them and pulled them down. It was always fun.
Keep it to two hours.
I tried a lot of different time frames for a party. Two hours is the sweet spot.
Do it in the morning.
Need to have it on a weekend? Do it on a Saturday morning. Otherwise you’re going to spend all day with your kid asking,“Is it time yet?” And then you’ll have the rest of the day to clean up that mess.
Do it right after school.
If you’re able to do it right after school, that’s also very fun. My kids always thought it was special to have their friends ride the school bus home with them on the day of their party. Or, maybe pick up all the kids in your minivan or SUV after school. Again, just another way to connect. (However, this could be a way that kids feel left out if they weren’t invited, so think of that also.)
Plan very basic games.
Think musical chairs (they don’t need a prize, they just win), relay races, memory games, hit a piñata, etc.
For young kids, playing with the toys in your house is enough. You really don’t need to plan more than free play, cake and ice cream with singing happy birthday, and gift opening. They’ll be content to just play with your kids’ toys.
Sit in a circle and open everyone’s gift.
This can take a good 20 minutes. Kids are often really excited to give their friend a birthday gift, and really excited to see them open it. Have each kid stay and watch until every gift is open. Then, you can decide if there’s a gift that could be played with right now by everyone, or if they should all be put away until after the party.
Skip the thank you note and practice some social skills.
Have your child thank every parent and child as they leave for the specific item they received. (Make a list of the gifts they received from whom, so you can remind them of what that friend gave them.)
Plan an arts and craft activity.
We often painted on canvases and this was their party favor that they took home. Again, don’t do this when they’re younger. There’s no need, as young kids are happy to just play with your kids’ toys. Because you will hate home parties if you add paint too early, start at second grade at the earliest.
Do most of the party outside.
If the weather cooperates, eat on the deck. Play the messy games outside. You’ll have less to clean up when they leave.
Have they burned through your planned games and played with the inside toys? Time for some outside play, if the weather cooperates.
Looking for more party tips? Check out our post Birthday Party Etiquette for Parents.
