“I want people to know that I am not a bad guy.”
This quote came from a brave middle school boy who got up in front of a large crowd of people to advocate for himself. This courageous boy is transgender and wanted people to know that he is just a kid who wants to exist, go to school, and play with his friends.
Despite it being 2023, there are still constant messages out there that trans people are bad, that they will hurt and confuse your children, and that their influence is seeping into our public education system.
These messages are incredibly harmful to LGBTQ youth and adults and push them back into the shadows of society. As a community, it is now more important than ever to support LGBTQ kids, parents, and families.
Ways to Support LGBTQ+ Youth & Families
- One supportive adult in a LGBTQ child’s life can reduce the risk of suicide by 40%. Gender queer kids need to know and understand their parents love and that they are supported unconditionally. LGBTQ youth depend on supportive adults to help them when they are down, to reach out when they might be slipping in school, and to recognize when their life might be in danger. Queer students are still kids. And even though the adults in their lives might not understand what they are experiencing, they need to know they will always have someone to turn to.
- Help children understand that they are not bad, and there is nothing wrong with them. We think our kids aren’t listening, but they pick up more than we realize. Our kids might pick up on the messaging from news sources, internet, people talking, etc., and think there is something wrong with them. Affirm your child’s existence, and make sure your child understands that they are 100% who they are supposed to be.
- Supporting your child in public spaces, as well as home, is even more important. Put pride flags on the lawn, bring them to pride events, support them radically and holistically so they understand their parent is their biggest fan.
- Don’t be a passive ally. Reach out to your representatives to tell them your experiences as an LGBTQ family. Have your child help write an e-mail or send a letter so they know you will always fight for their health and happiness.
- Take a break from the news and social media. This one is crucial to protecting your spirit so you can work to protect your child. Disconnect; go to a movie, bake something together, or do something as a family that makes everyone happy. Doing something together as a family can recharge your spirit and give you the energy to keep going.
Whether you are parenting a queer kid, raising a child who has queer friends, or are concerned for families, taking these steps can ensure queer kids are advocated for and remain safe.
Additional resources for supporting LGBTQ youth can be found at www.projectraifm.org. Locally, The Village Family Service Center offers several resources, support groups, and therapists who specialize in working with queer children and teens. If you, or your child are in crisis, dial 211 or 988 to be connected with mental health emergency services.
Hug those kids tight, affirm them for who they are, and never stop loving them!
About the Author
Kristin Nelson lives in Fargo with her husband Nick, her 10-year-old daughter Alexandra and two rescue dogs, Archer and Pigeon. She loves cooking and baking with her family and going to Diamond Lake in Spicer, MN in the summer! Kristin founded Project RAI (Rainbows Are Inclusive) in 2020 to provide resources, community, and advocacy for LGBTQ+ children and their parents.
