Are you traveling over the holiday break?
Whether you’re visiting family or simply headed out on a fun trip, traveling can be stressful. From family dynamics, less than ideal weather, trying to stick to a budget, and worrying you’re not doing enough — it all adds up.
And whether you’re traveling out of state or just around town, it’s important to put some boundaries in place to make the holiday experience more enjoyable for everyone.
Setting Boundaries for the Holidays
Prioritize
In preparation for traveling out of state this holiday season, my husband and I prioritized what we wanted to do most. We determined what activities were most important and who we needed to be sure to visit.
Determining who to spend time with was tough. We have many out of state friends and extended family, and that can limit the time we can spend with our own immediate families.
We wanted to be fair, but the boundaries needed to be set so we wouldn’t stretch ourselves too thin. And didn’t want to be spending too much time in the car going from place to place. Because our vacation time is not meant to be in a car, it’s for family.
We also determined what activities would be age appropriate for our littles. For example, we decided they’re not ready to try skiing for the first time. But bringing our ice skates or going sledding would be doable this year.
Put It in Writing
Once the activities and family time is determined, write it down!
I don’t kid you, no matter how much time I was repeating this conversation to the family, spouse and myself, there were so many times I forgot what we decided.
To keep track of everything, I wrote it all out in a journal. Then for my own Type A organization (and also to solidify the plan), I made a spreadsheet. This included the dates of our visit, the activity name, the time, location, and another separate column of activities family and friends have suggested to do while in town. And I printed it out.
Here’s an example table:
| Date | Activity | Time | Location | Activities Suggested |
Why did I do this?
Because my time is precious, I don’t want to be dealing with the fight of figuring out where I am supposed to be with the kids, what time, and where with the family.
This also kept communication clear and open with our family and friends when I shared it via e-mail. Everyone received a copy of the schedule, so they knew what to expect while we were there.
It can be hard to figure out the details, and choose some people and activities over others, but it’s given me some peace.
And I’ve already started to hear some feedback now that the schedule has been shared. From, “Well are you sure you want to do that then?” to, “I didn’t realize that would be at that time so now I have to reschedule EVERYTHING.” Or the favorite, “Well, what about you fit it in time to do XYZ…”
But try not to budge much from your plan.
If there are items that are non-negotiable, tell the family and friends about it.
If that means going to a special program, a certain bedtime or nap time for the kids or anything that is important for you, put it down in writing. And make sure they understand.
Flexibility is good, but your sanity is top priority. And it does take some planning ahead of the trip, but if it helps ease up the travel stress I’m all for it.
The boundaries are there to help keep the communication open and relaxed. Yes, it’s not meant to be set in stone, but sharing the plan of what your expectations are will be helpful to everyone.
Set a Budget for the Trip
And this can include gifts, small trinkets/souvenirs, food and beverage — all of it.
It’s easy to get caught up in buying souvenirs to remember the trip. But don’t let the travel stress you out financially.
Sit down and really determine who are you going to give a gift to along with how many gifts you anticipate to receive. I did this and decided that I wasn’t going to worry about buying multiple gifts for our own kids.
Set Gift Guidelines
I also shared with our extended family that they need to be considerate of the number of gifts they give the kids because we would be traveling.
I said that little stocking stuffers are fine, but for large gifts one or two gifts per child would be preferred.
And then we requested if a gift was too big to carry onto an airplane or in the car after unwrapping it, to have it shipped and delivered to our house.
Since we are flying, I only want to carry a certain number of bags for myself and the kids in the airport. And having gifts sent to our house helps with “filling our tree” for the kids when we do come home. Then we can have our own special extra present opening time.
Another good option for minimizing the amount of gifts you’ll need to lug around the airport is to request experience gifts.
Set the Boundaries & Enjoy Your Time Together
After all the planning is done and the boundaries are set, enjoy the time together.
For our family, out-of-state traveling is a big deal with all the cost and planning involved. But overall it is worth all the stress for the precious memories we will gain this holiday season.
